We had an amazing time at our event last week. During my presentation I spoke about dealing with self-doubt and this really seemed to resonate with a lot of women. Besides the emails, texts and comments I have received from women at the event telling me they bought a red bra (you had to be there!!) the other comments have been the connection our participants made with this notion that we all suffer from self-doubt – even our celebrity guest speaker, Jules Sebastian said she too suffered from it.
No matter what stage you are at in your life, what goals you are trying to achieve or which path you are walking down, the one constant challenge we all face is dealing with self-doubt. It’s always there, always questioning and always haunting us – that voice in your head that tells you You Can’t – and it’s the self-doubt running riot that has the biggest impact on our confidence.
The really important thing to realise about self-doubt is that it does not discriminate. You’ve got it, I’ve got it, everyone you know has it, at our event Jules Sebastian said she has it, Oprah has it….and the list could go on. We may not all have self-doubt about the same things but it’s there, somewhere in our thoughts probably every single day of our lives and, while you’re still growing and changing, it’s never going to go away.
However, think about this…if everyone experiences self-doubt about their goals and yet many people out there are achieving their goals anyway, it would be reasonable to conclude that the existence of self-doubt is not the problem. The problem is how you manage the self-doubt.
One of the best ways I have found to help manage my self-doubt is to consciously surround myself with people who say ‘You Can’. These are the people that live with positivity, optimism and believe you can create what you want for your life.
There are plenty of nay-sayers and negativity all around and, if you’re like me, you really don’t need their assistance in being fearful of stepping outside your comfort-zone and taking on your goals. That I can totally provide for myself! However, having people around you that speak the language of ‘You Can’, will motivate and inspire you to believe in what you are doing and keep you on the path … (and they make for a much better lunch date!)
And it really is a conscious choice! Find those people and arrange for them to be in your life more. Maybe it’s a motivated friend you can meet for coffee once a month. Maybe it’s a group of business women who network together. It could even be a colleague, an industry leader, a school mum or a new friend you meet at a course. It’s about actively searching these people out and making time to connect.
These times will be really valuable! Anything that stops some of the self-doubt conversations in your head is worth every bit of the time and energy you put into them. You’ll also find that, over time, surrounding yourself with these types of people will not only motivate you to achieve more of your dreams and goals, but their infectious positivity and ‘can do’ attitude will rub of on you, and soon you’ll end up being that kind of person too.
BE YOU! We like her BEST!