Ok – so they’re everywhere, right? Naysayers, dream-stealers, the habitually negative, pessimistic people.
There really is no shortage of them. They are easy to find and turn up right at the very moment your energy is low or your contending with the voice of doubt that looms in your head.
A naysayer is defined as someone who ‘…denies, refuses, opposes, or is sceptical or cynical about something’ …(although I would change the last word to ‘everything’.
They discourage you from pursuing your goals, tell you your dreams are impossible and happily throw on a ‘I told you so’ when initially your goals don’t go the way you thought. (Which, as I talk about in my book, IS the MOST LIKELY case as that IS part of the process)! These are also the folks who will step in to sabotage you when you are making a positive life change – weight loss, reduce alcohol, pursue a hobby, join the gym etc
BUT …..there is a really important point I want you to understand!!!!
Everyone (yes, literally everyone) has the naysayers hot on their heels! You speak to or read about any successful person and they ALL mention at some point, how they dealt with this tribe of critical, cynical population. Perfect example is Kate Winslet’s video below…
What’s important to realise however, is that the successful women around you who are reaching their goals and pursuing their dreams MANAGE the naysayers – they don’t listen to them…they don’t buy into their story…they don’t believe what they say to be true – and that is what you need to do also!
Want some tips how?
6 Top Tips to Manage the Naysayers
1. Don't Share!
Sometimes it’s best just not to share! Keep your intentions safeguarded from these people. It’s the same as naming your unborn child. Remember, as soon as you said a name you were thinking of someone would comment that they knew and hated a (insert name) once! I the end, I kept it a secret until the day of the birth when we were decided.
2. Check in on Their Success / Achievement Levels
I can almost guarantee you that they are NOT succeeding in life because being a Naysayer and having a crap attitude to everything doesn’t cultivate a great life. You wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) take advice on weightloss from someone who is obese. You wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) take advice on being confident from someone who had very low self-esteem. SO DON’T listen to advice, comments or opinions on those who aren’t stepping up to the plate and making a go of their life.
3. And, Speaking of Opinions...
Remember that everybody’s got one! Seriously, this is SO important to remember! Everyone has opinions and most are formed based on little or no information. The challenge is the most Naysayers are SO convinced of their own unfounded opinions that they speak them as though they are truth. They are not the truth!
4. Avoid them (if you can)
The best solution to protect yourself from Naysayers is to simply avoid them. Don’t meet them for coffee, don’t arrange a playdate with them and don’t catch up for lunch. Yes, they may be a good friend but you know the way the conversation is going to go and it’s not going to work out good for you! Sometimes this can be challenging if the Naysayers are family or close friends but, try and avoid them at least until you lay the foundation of your dreams /goals first.
5. Find the 'You Can' People
You’ve likely heard me talk about this before because one of the most powerful confidence techniques is to surround yourself with the people that say ‘You Can’. They have an ‘I Can’ attitude to their life and they speak a ‘You Can’ attitude towards other people. They are optimistic, goal-driven believers that tell you anything is possible, that everything is within your reach and to go for it! You may need to actively seek these people out (or pay for my coaching – wink) but these are the people you need to be surrounded by to help you kick your life into the stratosphere!!
6. Feel Sorry for Them!
Maybe challenging I know, when the naysayers are in your face, but seriously, you have got to feel sorry for them! This negative, cynical crap they spin IS their outlook on life. This is how they see the world and everything in it. It’s not just you. At least you can walk away and find a happier and more positive way to live your life – they have to live with themselves forever! Yikes!
I hope these tips help you steer clear of the Naysayers and non-believers and pursue your happiness. They are tips I use, my clients use and the women go-getters around me use. They all know that the negative people exist (and guess what, they aren’t going away) so management of them is vital to live your best life.
BE YOU…and stay away from the naysayers!!