So, I’m writing a book! Yes, yes, yes – many of my friends know this because I’ve been talking about it for over 10 YEARS!!! I know you’re sick of hearing it (and I’m almost sick of saying it) but geeeeez………I’ve hit some roadblocks on the way and geeeeez……..It’s taking everything in me to not give up – despite wanting to give up MANY TIMES.
Last week I wanted to give up AGAIN!
It’s been a long journey, let me tell you! I’m close (I am so freaking close) and the challenges are getting tougher. If you follow us on Instagram you would have seen my excitement as the manuscript finally went off to the publisher a few months ago. Well, without boring you with the details, it then went to an editor (which was a disaster) and now I am weeks (if not months behind) and I just don’t feel like I am moving forward. This is, by far not the first hurdle I have faced but, being so close, they feel 100 times more frustrating!
Aaaaannd……….my personality is that I am pissed off if things I undertake don’t happen immediately – I love short term goals and instant gratification – so this is one of the most painful processes I could go through.
Last week I, once again, started implementing the many techniques I know – techniques for never giving up – and I wanted to share those with you.
Techniques for Never Giving Up!
(When you really want to give up).
1. Practice Perseverance
It is widely documented that most failures / underachievements are because people give up too soon. They don’t get what they want right away so they give up – (especially instant-gratification types like me!)
The good news is that perseverance is a skill that can be learned. It’s defined as the ‘steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state…especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.’
I also love this article which explains the neuroscience of perseverance. It describes that dopamine (the ‘happy hormone’ that is released in our brain) is the fuel that keeps people motivated to persevere and achieve a goal.
‘…dopamine is linked to positive behavior reinforcement and the ‘ding, ding, ding’ jackpot feeling you get when you accomplish a goal.’
You can learn to trigger a dopamine release (via various methods you can read about in this article) which will help you move towards your goal and keep persevering. You must teach yourself to stick to things because it’s usually the times when it’s most important to persevere, that are the times that you will be most tested.
2. Work on your Physical
As you know from my weight loss blog last week, I’ve recently joined the gym. Yes, there was motivation from the extra kilos I was carrying but there was also motivation from the fact that I know that my mental strength starts with my physical strength. If I start pushing through the physical barriers I face (like managing to do another of those horrendous burpee’s once my brain tells me I am at my physical limit) I get practiced at pushing through the other barriers I face in my life.
It is ALL about mental strength and the mental strength leads to the next point…
3. Achievement Breeds Achievement
As you know from my weight loss blog last week, I’ve recently joined the gym. Yes, there was motivation from the extra kilos I was carrying but there was also motivation from the fact that I know that my mental strength starts with my physical strength. If I start pushing through the physical barriers I face (like managing to do another of those horrendous burpee’s once my brain tells me I am at my physical limit) I get practiced at pushing through the other barriers I face in my life.
It is ALL about mental strength and the mental strength leads to the next point…
‘Being uninspired and lacking self-motivation is a downward spiral that can snowball out of control. It’s so easy to become bitter, cynical and hopeless when your dopamine reserves are low. But you have the power to turn this around by consciously looking at everything you achieve–from flossing your teeth, to taking out the trash–as a way to tap your dopamine reserves. Look at every thing you do in the day as a chance to create a sense of reward and deliver a rush of dopamine.’
4. Get Inspired By Others
I talk about inspiration from others a lot as it is unbelievably powerful. Even searching the internet for this blog and reading other inspirational stories of people achieving the unachievable had me sitting up straight in my chair and typing furiously – I was pumped!
Riding the wave of inspiration from other peoples’ achievements will push you towards your own goals. There are so many ordinary people achieving extraordinary things to be inspired by, and you can absolutely be one of those people too!
Here are some of my favourites:
– Watch the Pursuit of Happiness movie;
– Read an inspirational biography – Try ‘Screw It, Lets Do It’ by Sir Richard Branson, or ‘Wild’ by Cheryl Strayed (now also a great movie).
– Search Google for success stories consistent with the path you are travelling on;
– Read blogs, articles, websites from people you admire.
5. Have a Damn Good Rant...
(...then move the hell on!)
This one I did manage last week! I sat in my office, across from Anastasia and went for it. I whinged, I complained, I swore, I told her I was pissed off, that it was too hard, that I was exhausted from pushing the freaking bus up the god-damn hill – that maybe it was hard because I was on the wrong path – that I couldn’t do it – that I should just get a job packing supermarket shelves and be done with all this striving for my dreams crap – and it went on, and on, and one………
AND it felt great to get it all out!!!!!! Sometimes you just need to have a bloody good rant to someone – but that someone needs to be someone special. Why? Because they can listen, they can even agree with you at times, but at the end they don’t buy into your B.S. At the end of your rant, your excuses, your whinging – they need to pull you up and get you back on track.
Anastasia is great at this. She never takes my crap. She let me go for a while and then simply said ‘Seriously, did you expect this to be easy? You of all people know that the closer you get to your goal the harder it can be to push over the line. Now, get on with it.’
That’s what friends are for!
6. Visualise the End
This is an important technique to not give up – see the end result. I tell you, one of the ONLY things that keeps me going is I have visualised SO many times standing at my book launch with that damn book in my hands! I want it so bad and I know that if I give up I will never have that dream realised. That realisation is what helps me to keep pushing the bus up the hill.
‘Never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about.’
I have thought about this book and this business for over 10 years and, like the quote above says, it was rare that I went a day without thinking about it – that is how I know I have to keep going. Even through the years of sitting at home nursing my babies, I would sit down in front of daytime TV, watching others being interviewed about their businesses and book launches and I would think to myself, I want that!
7. Tell EVERYONE! Get Accountable
Accountability is one of the most powerful techniques I know for achieving goals, and telling everyone is a great way to instil this accountability.
There are many, many people who know I am writing a book and they remind me of it all the time. This drives me! I almost need to get it published to keep these people off my back – but wow – what a great motivator it is.
If you’re going to run a marathon – tell everyone you are going to run a marathon and then book the date. If you are going to lose 10 kilos then tell everyone that is what you are doing. Nothing stops you picking up that cream bun more than knowing that the people around you are watching.
8. Get a Reality Check on Life
Ok, you ready? Here is the reality check that I needed and you may need too:
– You are SO lucky to be in a position to be able to choose what goals you want to go for. Consider that there are many people that would be thrilled to have the opportunity to run a marathon, write a book, change jobs, start a business – or whatever else it is that you want to achieve.
– You are one chick in this massive world of over 7 billion people. Just get on with it and do your thing!
– Stop getting so pissed off about your situation. There are millions of people in really terrible situations. The fact that you are having a challenging time getting a book edited [insert whatever it is for you] is very insignificant.
– There will always be people who are critical, say you’ll never do it and who are just downright mean and jealous. The people who just to achieve stuff anyway just don’t listen to them.
– Anything worth going for is worth fighting for. If it was easy, then everyone else would be doing it too!
– All the ‘inspirational’ people of the world achieving goals and not giving up are the same as you. No smarter, no better, no magical powers. They just got up one more time after being knocked to the ground.
So – the moral to this story is Don’t Give Up! Never!
BE YOU! We like her BEST!
