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Going back to work after a long break from the workforce, or trying something new, just like any fresh start in life, can be really frightening.
Not ‘spider on the door handle’ type frightening, but a debilitating fear nonetheless – one that digs its claws into your confidence and your motivation, and drags you back to where things are safe and comfortable.
Now, if you’ve felt this before, you may already know 3 very important things about fear… but if you haven’t, there are 3 key elements that you MUST know, before you can conquer ANY fear, especially when you decide that it’s time to get yourself back into the workforce.
1. Fear is NOT going away;
2. Fear lives right on the edge of your comfort zone;
3. Fear is afraid of action.
Yes, it’s the truth. Fear IS NOT going away. In fact, the MORE you live and the MORE you grow, the more often you will feel it.
And that’s GREAT! Because fear really does live on the edge of your comfort zone, which means if you’re feeling fear, you’re actually living, learning and growing. Go YOU!
But the irony is, fear is also afraid – it’s afraid of ACTION! Getting into action, will reduce your fears every time because the more you do, the more you accomplish. And the more you accomplish, the more you will realise that there wasn’t really anything to be afraid of in the first place.
So, how can this realisation help you, especially at the confronting time of going back to work?
Well, the sad truth is, many women choose NOT to go back to work, OR they settle for a job that they don’t really want, not because of a lack of passion skill or commitment.
Many women are stopped because of fear, and 3 confidence-crushing fears in particular.
The 3 Confidence-Crushing Fears that affect your return to work!
1. Fear of Failure
Just the very word itself, invokes feelings of inadequacy, disappointment and dejection and this fear is usually the first to strike at the heart of all women trying to get back into the workforce.
What if I commit to going back to work – and sacrifice the time with my family – and it doesn’t work?
What if I try something new and exciting, or make a move that’s different to anything I’ve ever done before… and I fail?
What if going back to work is great but, as a result, I feel like I’m failing at being a good mum or partner?
The questions that the ‘fear of failure’ plagues us with, are endless and we KNOW… because we’ve come face to face with them all the time.
How will I know what success looks like?
How many failures, disappointments and rejections can I possibly withstand?
And the worst one of all…
How will I know when it’s finally time to admit defeat?
Well, here’s the thing. You don’t and you won’t!
You’ll NEVER know when it’s time to quit, nor will you ever have to feel the crushing defeat of failure or rejection IF… you accept that the very nature of life itself, is fraught with failure.
In fact, you can’t succeed without failure, so the sooner you acknowledge that (and make it a part of your life and work mentality, especially when making the decision to get back into the workforce), the faster you’ll be able to overcome this fear and move on.
2. Fear of the WRONG DECISION!
Now, this one would actually be hysterically funny, if it wasn’t so scary, because you see… there’s no such thing as a wrong decision!
Yes, you may feel as though you’ve made choices that didn’t turn out as planned, or that you decided to go for a job that wasn’t quite what you expected BUT the reality is, you have NO IDEA where any other decision would have gotten you, so EVERY decision is actually the RIGHT DECISION at the time.
We can always assume, estimate and predict what we think the outcome of any decision may be, but the truth is, we’ll never know until we take that path.
If it works out, great! If it doesn’t though, it doesn’t mean that it was wrong, because you don’t actually know if the alternative would have been right either.
All it means is that you’ve been given the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience. So, take the learning, accept that you can’t make a wrong decision and… MOVE ON!
3. Fear of what OTHERS may think or say!
Now this one is ALWAYS present, whether you’d like to admit it or not, and sadly, it’s often the people closest to us who we feel are responsible for this fear.
How many times have you heard friends or family members say ‘Do you think this is the best time to go back to work?’ or ‘How do you think this will affect your family?’ or even ‘Have you really thought this through?’
Each of these questions (and so many others) are a confidence-crushing blow to any woman, especially when you’re at the vulnerable stage of trying to re-insert yourself into an environment where you were probably once very comfortable and confident.
And sadly, no matter how passionately you believe in yourself or how ready you are to start working again, it’s usually THIS fear that will affect you the most.
For some reason, we women tend to take the opinions of others as fact, and we allow them to influence us when it comes to OUR choices.
Why do we do this?!?
NO ONE knows YOU, your determination, your passion OR your career path like you do. So don’t let ANYONE tell you what you can or cannot do… not even those closest to you.
Being afraid of what others might think or say is entirely counter productive and usually a pointless exercise.
They are NOT you, they are NOT working your job and they do NOT know the drive, the commitment or the strength of character that you possess, to get your career to where you want it to be.
So, if you’d like a really great tip on how you can conquer these fears, and so many others, we’ve got an amazing exclusive bonus for you below.
Just enter your details below and we’ll give you access to a mind-blowing video from our online course – The Ultimate Confidence Course for Women – that will give you amazing insights into how you can start to manage your fears once and take your confidence and your career to the next level!
And remember… BE YOU! We like her BEST!
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